Kelly, I loved this whole essay. I could have quoted back to you the whole thing. But everything from this declaration on was golden: "But the longer I stayed in the system, the more I felt something essential recoil within me. The DSM didn’t feel like healing. It felt like translating human suffering into a language coded for billing that left the soul entirely out of the equation."
Great post. This is so true; Essentially, we’re pathologizing people’s difficulty adjusting to systems that may be causing their suffering in the first place. We’re medicating their resistance to toxic environments instead of questioning those environments.
Going to write out that Aztec prayer and keep it for reference, never heard it before.
Yes we may be free but do we actually know what we WANT?
I’ve spent many years with therapists some of whom held me in a safe others not so much.
The most healing sessions were when my therapist didn’t try to theory her way out of my pain but actually walked beside me as I navigated the narrow dark rooms of a fragmented self.
I trusted her to be there on my return from my moments of disassociation.
Gentle, trustworthy and honest.
It sounds like you were/are one of these types of therapists. Keep doing what you’re doing it makes such a difference.
Gradually we/I will know how to ride these storms ourselves and maybe even be the ones who hold space for another.
Who knows, I might be able to know what I DO want instead of just knowing what I don’t want.
The voices of our conditioning are so loud it’s hard to hear the small voice of our true nature - but it’s there. I totally relate to all that I don’t want as a path to finding what I do. ❤️Thank you for this heartfelt share.
There is so much grit and beauty to the way this incredibly powerful message grounds me in my own integrity. Makes me feel strong and tall in my humanity.
I cannot tell you how rare it feels, in a world that seems far too over-saturated with the silly loftiness of a kind of unattainable 'divinity.'
This isn’t just a post, Kelly—it’s a jailbreak for the soul.
You’ve taken the DSM, lit a candle, and said a prayer of release over every page that ever called human grief a disorder. What you’re offering here is nothing less than theological resistance: a gospel of wholeness in a culture addicted to diagnosis.
The real heresy was never being “too much.” It was daring to name the pain that didn’t fit the billing code.
You’ve become the kind of therapist the prophets were—flipping tables, blessing the broken, and refusing to pathologize the sacred ache of being human in a world that forgot how to hold it.
For the scapegoats, the system-burned, the mask-wearied—your voice is a chalice.
Thank you for seeing what I was trying to say. “Misfiled” rather than broken - yes, exactly that.
I’ve been thinking about how we’ve created these elaborate filing systems for human experience, as if what we feel could ever fit neatly into diagnostic boxes. But people aren’t spreadsheets, and being human refuses to stay categorized.
The prophets comparison really gets me. There’s something about this work that does feel like table-flipping - not out of anger, but out of love for the parts of us that have been labeled, categorized, and filed.
Your phrase about “theological resistance” hits home. 🎯
Kelly, this is a great piece of writing! You really hit the nail on the head. So glad you are writing about this. I would love for this post to be submitted to the Mad in America website as they publish articles on how people are labelled as 'disordered' for simply having normal human responses to difficult life events and then are often drugged to make them stay quiet.
I believe "previously published" means by a news media outlet but am not entirely sure. Yes they publish blogs, particularly from authors with your credentials. On their main website if you click 'Editorials' and then 'Blogs' you will see blogs written over the years. If Substack is considered previously published maybe moving a bit of info around, or adding or leaving out a few sentences, means it would be considered a 'new' item. I believe they have an email to contact for questions. I plan to publish my personal story in the future so could try find out more info.
I found this info under "Get Involved" and "submitting a blog". They have some info re 'previously published' on Medium or personal website etc. It may be some info in your piece has to be re-arranged so as to not be a duplicate but the overall message is spot on and I would hope it would be accepted. https://www.madinamerica.com/submitting-a-blog/
Thank you so much for sharing this. It’s such a refreshing perspective, and I could actually feel my anxiety start to calm down as I read. I’ve been through therapy and managed to get free from addiction. My therapist, an incredible woman, never told me what I wanted to hear or handed me any answers. We just explored my story together, and that’s what I’m still doing — probably even more now, after reading this.
At the addiction center where I spent years, nobody ever pathologized my addiction. They just named it as a coping mechanism. There was no diagnosis, no “solution.” You had to do the work yourself. And when you do, you discover some disturbing things about yourself, but you take a breath and keep on living.
We’ll never have all the answers, and I’m okay with that. I’d much rather look for stories — personal ones — that empower people without sticking a label on them.
This is so beautiful. “At the addiction center where I spent years, nobody ever pathologized my addiction. They just named it as a coping mechanism. There was no diagnosis, no “solution.” You had to do the work yourself. And when you do, you discover some disturbing things about yourself, but you take a breath and keep on living.” The only thing that was wrong with me was that I believed something was wrong with me. You sound like an amazing person. 💜
Kelly, I loved this whole essay. I could have quoted back to you the whole thing. But everything from this declaration on was golden: "But the longer I stayed in the system, the more I felt something essential recoil within me. The DSM didn’t feel like healing. It felt like translating human suffering into a language coded for billing that left the soul entirely out of the equation."
Thank you. It really means a lot to me to hear that! 💕
Great post. This is so true; Essentially, we’re pathologizing people’s difficulty adjusting to systems that may be causing their suffering in the first place. We’re medicating their resistance to toxic environments instead of questioning those environments.
Going to write out that Aztec prayer and keep it for reference, never heard it before.
Thanks Rosie! So glad it resonated. I hope you got a chance to listen to the spoken version of the Aztec prayer I linked to! It’s so beautiful…
I reallly appreciated this piece Kelly, thank you
You’re so welcome, Laura. Thanks for letting me know. 🫶
I love this, thank you for sharing abundantly and authentically. You are an angel and a mentor! My greatest takeaway is Dr. Hora's quote,
"All problems are psychological; all solutions are spiritual."
It's a keeper and a belief system that will change lives, a mantra if you will. My mantra is
Learn IT Teach IT Live IT
MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE!
You are doing all of these, keep up the great with and anyone who has the privilege to know you is blessed!! GODSPEED
I have a sense you too are an angel, Ed. Thank you.
Thanks for your kind response! I'm new to the app and just getting started. I trust our paths will cross again. Have a blessed day!
Yes we may be free but do we actually know what we WANT?
I’ve spent many years with therapists some of whom held me in a safe others not so much.
The most healing sessions were when my therapist didn’t try to theory her way out of my pain but actually walked beside me as I navigated the narrow dark rooms of a fragmented self.
I trusted her to be there on my return from my moments of disassociation.
Gentle, trustworthy and honest.
It sounds like you were/are one of these types of therapists. Keep doing what you’re doing it makes such a difference.
Gradually we/I will know how to ride these storms ourselves and maybe even be the ones who hold space for another.
Who knows, I might be able to know what I DO want instead of just knowing what I don’t want.
🦋
The voices of our conditioning are so loud it’s hard to hear the small voice of our true nature - but it’s there. I totally relate to all that I don’t want as a path to finding what I do. ❤️Thank you for this heartfelt share.
There is so much grit and beauty to the way this incredibly powerful message grounds me in my own integrity. Makes me feel strong and tall in my humanity.
I cannot tell you how rare it feels, in a world that seems far too over-saturated with the silly loftiness of a kind of unattainable 'divinity.'
Thank you from my whole human heart, Kelly.
Oh wow, Allison. Your words just blow me away. I’m truly moved. You get me. Thank you - my whole heart to yours.
Can't tell you how blessed I feel to know this, Kelly. Fire to fire, heart to heart. x
What a fabulous piece, written with such clarity.
Thank you for reading and for engaging! 💕
This isn’t just a post, Kelly—it’s a jailbreak for the soul.
You’ve taken the DSM, lit a candle, and said a prayer of release over every page that ever called human grief a disorder. What you’re offering here is nothing less than theological resistance: a gospel of wholeness in a culture addicted to diagnosis.
The real heresy was never being “too much.” It was daring to name the pain that didn’t fit the billing code.
You’ve become the kind of therapist the prophets were—flipping tables, blessing the broken, and refusing to pathologize the sacred ache of being human in a world that forgot how to hold it.
For the scapegoats, the system-burned, the mask-wearied—your voice is a chalice.
We were never broken. Just misfiled.
Thank you for seeing what I was trying to say. “Misfiled” rather than broken - yes, exactly that.
I’ve been thinking about how we’ve created these elaborate filing systems for human experience, as if what we feel could ever fit neatly into diagnostic boxes. But people aren’t spreadsheets, and being human refuses to stay categorized.
The prophets comparison really gets me. There’s something about this work that does feel like table-flipping - not out of anger, but out of love for the parts of us that have been labeled, categorized, and filed.
Your phrase about “theological resistance” hits home. 🎯
Thank you.
I agree and this is why I decided not to be a therpist.
❤️🔥thanks for reading and sharing!
Kelly, this is a great piece of writing! You really hit the nail on the head. So glad you are writing about this. I would love for this post to be submitted to the Mad in America website as they publish articles on how people are labelled as 'disordered' for simply having normal human responses to difficult life events and then are often drugged to make them stay quiet.
Dayum! Really? I’ll have to check them out. Thank you for reading and commenting!
Yes, I hope you can check them out. They would welcome your informative blog. There was one blog lately I think you would find interesting. The writer is Dan Nelson. I will attach the link, not sure if I can do that on Substack but will try....https://www.madinamerica.com/2025/05/family-traditions-and-the-inheritance-of-madness/
Thank you. Is a Substack post considered previously published? They accept personal stories but you mention they feature blogs?
I believe "previously published" means by a news media outlet but am not entirely sure. Yes they publish blogs, particularly from authors with your credentials. On their main website if you click 'Editorials' and then 'Blogs' you will see blogs written over the years. If Substack is considered previously published maybe moving a bit of info around, or adding or leaving out a few sentences, means it would be considered a 'new' item. I believe they have an email to contact for questions. I plan to publish my personal story in the future so could try find out more info.
Yes, I’d love a contact to inquire about becoming a featured blog and contributor. Thank you!
I found this info under "Get Involved" and "submitting a blog". They have some info re 'previously published' on Medium or personal website etc. It may be some info in your piece has to be re-arranged so as to not be a duplicate but the overall message is spot on and I would hope it would be accepted. https://www.madinamerica.com/submitting-a-blog/
Just wonderful. These were the words I needed tonight. Thank you, Kelly.
You’re so welcome!
Thank you so much for sharing this. It’s such a refreshing perspective, and I could actually feel my anxiety start to calm down as I read. I’ve been through therapy and managed to get free from addiction. My therapist, an incredible woman, never told me what I wanted to hear or handed me any answers. We just explored my story together, and that’s what I’m still doing — probably even more now, after reading this.
At the addiction center where I spent years, nobody ever pathologized my addiction. They just named it as a coping mechanism. There was no diagnosis, no “solution.” You had to do the work yourself. And when you do, you discover some disturbing things about yourself, but you take a breath and keep on living.
We’ll never have all the answers, and I’m okay with that. I’d much rather look for stories — personal ones — that empower people without sticking a label on them.
This is so beautiful. “At the addiction center where I spent years, nobody ever pathologized my addiction. They just named it as a coping mechanism. There was no diagnosis, no “solution.” You had to do the work yourself. And when you do, you discover some disturbing things about yourself, but you take a breath and keep on living.” The only thing that was wrong with me was that I believed something was wrong with me. You sound like an amazing person. 💜
Thank you so much !