Umm, that isn't a barbed wire fence, it's chain link.
That being said, thank you for your thoughts. We all have unique intrinsic value and we will be better off when we can accept ourselves for who we are.
Yes it is an original photo of mine. I thought it was close enough! Thank you! Here’s to embracing our worth and making space for each other’s humanity. 🌻🫶🌻
"it’s the belief that we are flawed, original sinners, shameful, not worthy, not good enough that ironically causes the exact thing we are taught to be so afraid of." So very true!
Rigged! Yes, yes, so true. Here’s an observation from my own work: "I am playing a rigged game where I will never pass Go and never collect my two-hundred dollars because scapegoating is a self-fulfilling prophecy. The more I get punished for real or imagined sins, the easier it is to blame me, and the more [my mother] blames me, the more I get punished.] We take up less and less and less space. We X ourselves. But here, with our words, we reclaiming agency. And it feels GREAT! I am grateful to have made the connection!
“because ignoring our body, hearts, and soul is something most outsiders, scapegoats, and addicts just aren’t good at doing — gaslit as we are for hearing the wisdom within louder than most of society.”
As a child, I couldn’t help myself, I got emotional and asked questions because being a part of my family was painful. And the response was always the same.
“Why are you so emotional? What is wrong with you? Why can’t you just be normal?”
Have you heard about a 12-Step program called TAR Anon? Toxic Abuse Relationships Anonymous. One of the guys here on Substack recommended it to me. I'm not much for online meetings, I like the energy of the physical room, but I did check out 3 meetings. I was wondering if you had an opinion because I am unsure and I trust your solid recovery.
I’m honored but Um…no haven’t heard of it. Try 6 meetings to see if it’s for you. Personally I’d just find a solid 12 step meeting you qualify for like Alanon or AA. The 12 step are the same principles no matter how they’re framed …and they work when we work them in any context. 🌻
Yes, I am 18 years sober in AA. I am the one in the room that always brings childhood trauma into the mix. When I tell my story, it’s trauma based and while I respect the disease model I find it wanting. but, God bless AA for steps 4, 5, 6 and seven and all the self-awareness that process brings. I love AA, don’t get me wrong. Anyway, there is something new out there and I respect you and Rebecca so much. I just thought I would ask. Maybe when you get a spare moment, and that seems unlikely given the amount of work you’re putting out, you might give it a looksee. There seem to be canaries in the coal mine springing up everywhere. Thank God for that!
I always help people see how the steps do address trauma though outside help may be helpful in conjunction. Maybe I’ll do a video chat on that. Check your DMs. Btw the treatment industry and broader recovery community uses the term “disease model” which has been often attributed to AA - that term is not in AA literature-rather a three fold condition (malady) of the BODY MIND AND SPIRIT. Thus all three are addressed by the 12 steps. Imagine that! Ahead of their time for sure.
The term disease became more prominent in later interpretations and in the broader recovery community, but it’s not central to the original AA language. I don’t speak for AA and usually just refer to a 12 step program but since you specified AA I thought I’d share my experience regarding that conflation.
love this Ms. Kelly - Ty for posting below is my velveteen rabbit and a scroll someone recently sent me - so applies and hope it resonates peace ☮️ namaste 🙏 Mo
"It’s not the tree that’s wrong—it’s the fence it had to grow around. We carry the shape of what we’ve survived. But our nature was never the problem."
Tears….such a powerful and needed message…thank you
🌻❤️🔥🌻
Umm, that isn't a barbed wire fence, it's chain link.
That being said, thank you for your thoughts. We all have unique intrinsic value and we will be better off when we can accept ourselves for who we are.
Yes it is an original photo of mine. I thought it was close enough! Thank you! Here’s to embracing our worth and making space for each other’s humanity. 🌻🫶🌻
"it’s the belief that we are flawed, original sinners, shameful, not worthy, not good enough that ironically causes the exact thing we are taught to be so afraid of." So very true!
Yep!
🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌
This is such an emotionally mature post. What a journey you have been on. ❤️🩹👏❤️🫂
lol well that’s a first! Thank you Sarah for reading and commenting. It’s been a long strange trip indeed. 😉
I feel like a lotus flower opening up after reading this
Thank You
That’s beautiful—what a perfect image. I’m so glad it resonated with you that deeply. May you keep blooming! 🌻🫶🌻
Rigged! Yes, yes, so true. Here’s an observation from my own work: "I am playing a rigged game where I will never pass Go and never collect my two-hundred dollars because scapegoating is a self-fulfilling prophecy. The more I get punished for real or imagined sins, the easier it is to blame me, and the more [my mother] blames me, the more I get punished.] We take up less and less and less space. We X ourselves. But here, with our words, we reclaiming agency. And it feels GREAT! I am grateful to have made the connection!
Thank you. Me too! 🌻🫶🌻
Beautiful and inspiring! Kelly, thank you for your warm words of wisdom.
Thank you for your ongoing support @Fierce Goat! You rock.
I love the way you said this:
“because ignoring our body, hearts, and soul is something most outsiders, scapegoats, and addicts just aren’t good at doing — gaslit as we are for hearing the wisdom within louder than most of society.”
As a child, I couldn’t help myself, I got emotional and asked questions because being a part of my family was painful. And the response was always the same.
“Why are you so emotional? What is wrong with you? Why can’t you just be normal?”
Solidarity, sister. We are the edgerunners, the new growth needed, the spirit…as well as the canaries in the coal mine. 🌻🫶🌻
Have you heard about a 12-Step program called TAR Anon? Toxic Abuse Relationships Anonymous. One of the guys here on Substack recommended it to me. I'm not much for online meetings, I like the energy of the physical room, but I did check out 3 meetings. I was wondering if you had an opinion because I am unsure and I trust your solid recovery.
I’m honored but Um…no haven’t heard of it. Try 6 meetings to see if it’s for you. Personally I’d just find a solid 12 step meeting you qualify for like Alanon or AA. The 12 step are the same principles no matter how they’re framed …and they work when we work them in any context. 🌻
But you did remind me I may start a monthly chat for questions and discussions like this.
Yes, I am 18 years sober in AA. I am the one in the room that always brings childhood trauma into the mix. When I tell my story, it’s trauma based and while I respect the disease model I find it wanting. but, God bless AA for steps 4, 5, 6 and seven and all the self-awareness that process brings. I love AA, don’t get me wrong. Anyway, there is something new out there and I respect you and Rebecca so much. I just thought I would ask. Maybe when you get a spare moment, and that seems unlikely given the amount of work you’re putting out, you might give it a looksee. There seem to be canaries in the coal mine springing up everywhere. Thank God for that!
I always help people see how the steps do address trauma though outside help may be helpful in conjunction. Maybe I’ll do a video chat on that. Check your DMs. Btw the treatment industry and broader recovery community uses the term “disease model” which has been often attributed to AA - that term is not in AA literature-rather a three fold condition (malady) of the BODY MIND AND SPIRIT. Thus all three are addressed by the 12 steps. Imagine that! Ahead of their time for sure.
The term disease became more prominent in later interpretations and in the broader recovery community, but it’s not central to the original AA language. I don’t speak for AA and usually just refer to a 12 step program but since you specified AA I thought I’d share my experience regarding that conflation.
Wow - this landed for me. Thanks Kelly.
“becoming ourselves—isn’t easy.” Not easy yet essential. I’m still in a state of becoming. That’s ok. I’ll be patient.
I’ve loved watching the arc of what you are doing here on Substack. So glad our paths crossed 💕
Thank you Allison. Also grateful to be in convo and contact with you here. 💕
love this Ms. Kelly - Ty for posting below is my velveteen rabbit and a scroll someone recently sent me - so applies and hope it resonates peace ☮️ namaste 🙏 Mo
Where’s your rabbit? Scroll? Love it.
I thought I attached them but they’re not there
Not sure why I can’t do it here ??
“Because real isn’t an aesthetic…” GAAAHH!!!
🔥🔥🔥
"It’s not the tree that’s wrong—it’s the fence it had to grow around. We carry the shape of what we’ve survived. But our nature was never the problem."
😭 😭 😭
I love you.
Back atcha dear one. 🫶
The Velveteen Rabbit quote hangs in my office. 🖤
Love it!!! 🐰🫶
I love this and wholeheartedly agree! Thank you for naming it so clearly.
Glad to be in convo! Thanks for reading.