Follow me here for my thoughts on how to recover, find your badass, kick ass, and align with your true Self. Beginnings are hard. So I’ll jump right in:
First, here’s a link to watch the ABC Nightline investigation SECRETS OF THE 2X2 CHURCH about the high control group I was born and raised in:
https://www.hulu.com/series/af1993c5-df67-4d5d-b1e9-85e56676e2f9
In another piece by ABC News, 2x2 worker Gary Paul, was asked about sexual abuse allegations against workers and elders in the church. He responded that random reports from obscure people against trusted and credible church members were hard to take seriously.
Confession: feeling very obscure and a little bitter right now. Mostly obscure.
This is all behind me. I left ages ago without any community or support. It’s hard to get this validation at age 70 after a lifetime of erasure and a solitary journey of deconstruction. (That wasn’t even a word until recently 🙃)
It’s a strange place to be - distanced from family and watching the dominos fall.
Standing in a place of liberation and self actualization - knowing how incredibly deep this indoctrination lies within us and what courage it took, risking it all (including hell), to get free and learn to trust myself.
I am hearted by the thought of helping others by sharing my experience but also know each of us who truly leaves has an individual process we must undergo.
It’s so surreal to watch. I can’t believe I’m 70. I want to turn the clock back. I want to be 15 again, only now, now as the non church implodes, with my whole life ahead of me.
I envy the young ones and I want to say seize the day. Fly. Become who and what you were made to be, fully your selves. Shake the dust from your feet. Nurture your intellect. Do the hard work of healing and deconstructing. Find original thought. Don’t settle for secondhand belief. Seek a God (or not) of your own understanding.
Don’t sell yourself short. You are made of stardust and real Love cannot be earned. It’s inside you. To trust yourself is your birthright.
Don’t give away your power to outside authority ever. Find the true power within you which is where God of whatever name we call Her is.
Follow your passion and purpose. It was planted inside you from conception. Find those who can see and believe you.
Drop the false personas you developed
to survive. There’s nothing wrong with you and there never was. 🍃🕊️
I was reading one of Pema Chodron's books this morning, a series of lectures she gave at Gampo Abbey. She says Buddhist teaching is simply to be open every moment. My higher power has long been the Goddess, and I'm practicing turning my life over to her. Now I'm rephrasing that to turn my life to openness every moment. I still like calling her Goddess, and so do the women in my support group. Glad you're starting this newsletter.
Really fucking happy to see you doing this. You are instrumental in helping me find my voice. There's nothing wrong with us and there never was. 🖤